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Monthly Archives: November 2010

With the holidays right around the corner, I’m sure everyone is scrambling for gift ideas for the little exterminator in their life.  Today, Extermination Station is going to be a tad more helpful than usual, and provide a few gift ideas for the holidays.

The Daisy BB Gun can be a great gift for an exterminator of any age. Great for target practice or extermination of small vermin, this always makes a great gift for the exterminator in your life.

 

But when the exterminator is beyond the age of playing with little BB Guns, or when you need to train this exterminator for the bigger jobs, consider Mattel’s M16 Marauder. With real life feel and sound, this is great for training the exterminator that is destined for greatness.

Kid tested. Exterminator approved.

Here are a few little exterminators in training.

Isn't that camo tank top cute? Don't be fooled. This kid means business.

I always thought the cowboy approach was a little too cute.

Little exterminators in action.

What better way to make friends than exterminating those close to you?!

So for those of you wracking your brains to figure out what to get for the young ones this holiday season, look no further than these ideas. Remember, it’s never to early to start exterminating.

For those of you that may have doubts as to the wisdom encouraging extermination at such an early age, remember, your alternative is to let the kid’s mind waste away while playing video games.

That’s that I thought. Buy them a gun.

 

 

 

 

We have previously discussed the inherent danger of riding lawn mowers, particularly when the operator is attempting to smoke meth with a blow torch near barrels of gunpowder. Today we will address another element that significantly amplifies the inherent danger of the riding lawn mower: drunken rednecks with southern style.

It all began one fateful night in Kentucky, when Harvey Westmoreland went out to his brother’s barn to meet a few friends. A dispute erupted over… you guessed it… a riding lawn mower. You see, these two guys sold it to Westmoreland for $20, but then felt like they were being “ripped off.” That’s when the trouble began. Guns and knives were brandished, and all hell broke loose in this lowly Kentucky barn. The fight reached its climax when the supposed friends cut off Westmoreland’s beard, and forced him to eat it. Yes. They made him eat it. Hear if from Westmoreland yourself.

What you see in this video is a wonderful display of Southern Style.  Here are a few more examples of Southern Style.

Souther Style horseshoes.

Souther Style hot tub. This one just seems like a bad idea.

Southern Style wedding.

When it comes down to it, you can dress however you want. You make your own hot tub however you want, you can party at your wedding however you want, and you can play horseshoes with whatever you want. But I draw the line at making a man eat his own beard. That is taking Southern Style too far, and for that, you should be exterminated.

When exterminating, it is important to use the proper tools. For the big jobs, a gas mask is always recommended. Given the danger associated with some forms of extermination, it is important that you always keep your gear, including your gas mask, in tip top shape. Here is a friendly public service accouncement.

To start off, I would like to apologize for the lull in posts to this fabulous blog. I’m sure that the adoring fans have felt lost, frustrated, and abandoned during this time. My fellow exterminators, you have not been abandoned. Things got a little crazy and I admit, I forgot about what’s most important in this life: Extermination. And with that, we’re back.

Up for extermination today: People who build stupid houses. In the early days, cavemen (and probably well-behaved cave women) dwelt in caves. (I recognize that this may seem obvious based on the name “caveman” but you should never be presumptuous about your audience’s intelligence.)

Just a couple of cavement, drawing on the wall. It's what they did.

As the cavemen evolved, so did his need for better housing (and better style).

Using their primitive tools and advanced architectural skills, the Native Americans were the first to build what we consider to be a true “house”.

Behold, the blueprints for a Native American row house.

As Native American technology, design, and need, continued to advance, so did their houses.

I gotta find one of these.

Eventually, we arrived at the modern day house, in all its glory.

Somewhere along the line, idiots decided to start building stupid houses. I don’t know why, but I know they should be exterminated for it.

The spaceship house, built by some idiot in Tennessee, probably after he was abducted, returned to Earth, and just didn't feel at home anymore.

The swinging cabin house. Making intoxication unbearable since it was built.

Apparently stupid houses are popular among people who wish they lived in a fairy tale.

Why would ever choose to live in a shoe? I mean, just look at how silly Christmas decorations look on that house. Just silly.

I can guarantee this guy won't this his pumpkin house is so cool when it starts to rot. Imaging the smell.

Word are utterly inadequate to describe the stupidity of this house.

As if fairy tale fans weren’t bad enough, hipsters had to come along with their stupid plans for “modern” homes, which look like they were made out of legos or cardboard boxes all painted different colors.

What is easily the dumbest house, and the one that motivated this entire post, is the snail house.

Made from crushed baby snail shells. Thousands of 'em.

This thing is like every LSD fan’s dream come true.

Look at all those colors! And the interior vegatation!

How are the people in the back supposed to see the tv?

I think that all exterminators would unanimously agree, the builder of this house deserves to be exterminated. Mr. builder of the snail house, you’ve been warned.